Friday, November 30, 2007

Okay, okay!

Yes, I am still here and dealing with a sick child and a snarky child - you guess which is which. Oh, alright I'll tell.

Andrew started with a slight cough on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Being the diligent mother I am, I sporadically gave him his inhaler (for those of you not in the know, he has asthma and allergies) since we had not had an issue this bad in the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. By Friday he was running a low grade fever and was lethargic, so I took him to the pediatrician. They refilled all his scripts and I started him on all his meds. He attempted school on Monday only to be exhausted after only 1/2 a day.

On Tuesday we went back to the doctor only to discover that he had a sinus infection and possibly pneumonia deep in his lungs. They started him on antibiotics and I am continuing his nebulizer three times a day, plus all his other asthma meds. Today was his first day back to school in a week and a half. He is much better now, he's even fighting with and yelling at his sister.

Speaking of which, I have been trying to get her to clean her room since Friday. Not normally an issue, however, I couldn't find the floor. Now, being five, I only ask that I can actually see said floor and that I can open and close her closet door. Since I am not the epitome of a neat freak (come look at my house on a normal day), I only need to be able to walk in the room. 7 full days later it is clean, at least clean for a five year old. The whole problem with this entire scenario is that it only took her 15 minutes of actual cleaning so that I could see the floor. Hence my frustration

To top all of this off, my husband has been home for the last two weeks. That, in and of itself, is enough to drive me crazy. Now, I love my husband, but two adults should not have to co-habitate for 24/7, especially since one of them (namely me) is an only child and likes their space.
Sorry for all the craziness, but you all wanted to hear it!!!

Thought for the day!!! (and my favorite)
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup !

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I now pronounce you....

Okay, since everyone is talking (blogging) about how their children are going to "marry" others, I feel compelled to share the following story. My DD is confused, hence the conversation below (keep in mind she is 5):

DD: Mom, what do you do when you want to marry two boys.
Me: Well, I think you have awhile before you have to worry about that.
DD: I'm confused and don't know what to do.
Me: Just give it time, it will all work itself out in time.

A couple days later.

DD: I have made a decision.
Me: Concerning what?
DD: I don't think I'm going to marry anyone, I'm just going to be friends with them for right now.
Me: I think that sounds great.

I can't believe we are having this conversation at 5 years old. I wasn't expecting these conversations until at least 10 or 11.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Lindsey's 15 minutes of fame - a little early

Finally our trip to Sea World with a slideshow of Lindsey as the star of the Dolphin Discovery Show. Well, Dolly is actually the star, but it's a step in the right direction.

Sea World
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Wax Anyone?

One of my really good friends sent this to me, and it is too good not to put on my blog.

Hair Removal....This is funny. (I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but...WHAT A HOOT!)...................

"All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg(or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP!

Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the's not! I touch...

I am touching wax!!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???


I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!!

It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL HERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......"

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Night of Ghosts and Ghouls

Lots happened this week, with the obvious conclusion of Halloween. Yes, we waited until Saturday to get the pumpkin and carve it. Normally, Nana and I take the kids. This year we decided to include the men in the adventure. Needless to say, we were finished in record time, but a good time was had by all.

We also normally let the pumpkins sit around for a week or so, but since Halloween was on Wednesday, we needed to "carve" them right away. This too, included the men in the family and was once again completed in record time. The children had a lovely time (said tongue in cheek - notice their faces).

The completed result was worth the goo.

As they donned their costumes, I noticed we normally have a theme. My children are very good about this and it makes for cute pictures.

Even Belle was in on the festivities. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, SHE is Yoda. Didn't know Yoda was a girl did ya?!?!?!

So happy Halloween/All Hallow Even/Samhain/Harvest to you all!!!