Sunday, March 30, 2008

Laugh Lines!!

I am not one to read the newspaper as it just depresses me. I do, on occasion, pick up the "Tidbits" paper of various cities in the area. I found an article from the March issue that stuck my funny bone.

These are excerpts from students' exams....
  • The future of "I give" is "I take".
  • The parts of speech are lungs and air.
  • The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
  • A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
  • Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin and Hydrogin is gin and water.
  • (Define H2O and CO3.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
  • The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
  • Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
  • The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
  • The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on th bottom.
  • One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
  • One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
  • To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
  • The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
  • Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.
  • The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
  • Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
  • The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
  • Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
  • The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
  • In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
  • Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
  • A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.
  • The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
  • A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
  • The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
  • Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
  • The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

How many Aimee Thomas's?
LogoThere are
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Oh, Canada!

As I sit in the airport and are delayed 3 1/2 hours, I can reflect on the rest of my trip. (Pictures still to come - must have left the cable at home!)

I was told, and I told, lots of "Bob" stories. Fun was had by all except the source of the entertainment. It's a good thing that my husband has a sense of humor. -- Although, being married to me, he must. -- We ate, drank and were merry. Does water count as "drink"? Anyway, we tolled the village and were amazed by the prices everywhere. I thought Vale was expensive, but not compared to Whistler.

Point of fact:

The hoary marmot (Marmota caligata) is a species of marmot that inhabits the mountains of northwest North America. The largest populations are in Alaska. In the northern part of that state they may live near sea level. Hoary marmots live near the tree line on slopes with grasses and forbs to eat and rocky areas for cover. It is the largest North American ground squirrel and is often nicknamed "the whistler" for its high-pitched warning issued to alert other members of the colony to possible danger. The animals are sometimes called "whistle pigs." Whistler, British Columbia is said to be named for these animals.[1]

These are the things we learn when there are a bunch of drunk people, and we use them for entertainment, lots of trivial facts.

Overall, it was a great time spent with my husband and people I haven't seen in a year. Hopefully, we will get to go to Bali next year. Of course, that would be somewhere with a beach, my husband couldn't get that lucky.

Wish us luck on getting back today. We may get to stay at the airport until tomorrow. I can hardly wait!!